Thursday 25 November 2021


I was on my way to the airport sometime in 2008 when at the popular Ajah bus-stop in Lagos, a commercial bus driver slightly hit my car.

Impulsively and with rage, I jumped out of the car to confront the driver, who had stopped a few meters in front to pick up passengers. I screamed at him and threatened that he will not move.

At this time, I had created a scene, yet the man didn't even recognize my presence, let alone apologize. Instead, he unleashed unprintable insults and even attempted to beat me up. Of course, in Lagos, the passengers will always support the driver, so you can imagine the quantum of insults and embarrassment I got in less than 5 minutes that the incident lasted.

But that wasn't all. When I got back to my car, I met no valuable left. The car had literally been swept by street urchins. I broke down.

It was then I realized how emotionally foolish I was. Leaving the car at the bus stop with the engine running, doors unlocked!! In fact someone could have  driven it away. Guess what? I lost a new phone, laptop,  cash... name it, and I missed the flight too. 

Hmmm.. difficult to forget. A damage that cost about 5k to fix. I know, someone will say you were not smart enough. Perhaps yes! But here is the point, and  this summarises the import of this story.

Any time you react to provocation  based on impulse, the outcome will  always end in regret, no matter how smart you are. In emotional intelligence, it is called Amygdala Hijack or Emotional Hijack. Sometimes, the consequence could be lethal and irreversible.

About 2 years ago, a responsible  gentleman in Lagos argued over N50 balance with  an Ikeja-bound bus conductor and died in the process. Anytime you suffer Amygdala Hijack, you regret. The question is, how do you react when provoked? What words come out of your mouth when offended by colleagues, okada men, danfo drivers, business partner,  relatives etc? Do you express or explode? Do you respond or react? Words sometimes could be more hurtful than injuries.

Now here is the good news, everyone has an imaginary Mental Pause Button. Once provoked, press the mental pause button in your mind. Do not talk or react for 6 seconds. At that point, take a deep breath and by the time you breathe out,  the action you will take will be rational and will not lead to regret. The 6 seconds pause may just be the difference between death or life, friendship or enmity, peace or war.  Emotions are subject to individuals' control   Learn to manage your mental pause button, choose emotional intelligence.

Don't allow one moment of 'madness' to destroy your day or even your future.

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