Dear Nigerian Parents,
I wish to start with the benefit of my time as a student and later a resident in the UK. Now, I live in Nigeria. The first thing that I discovered about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend jobs to support themselves, including the children of millionaires. It is the norm regardless of how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same, except status-conscious Nigerians.
One day, I also watched Richard Branson, the owner of Virgin Atlantic Airline, speaking on the Biography Channel. To my amazement, he said that his young children travel in the economy class, even when he and his wife are billionaires in Pound sterling.
A casual survey would show that only children from Nigerian parents fly business or first class to commence their studies in the UK. No other foreign students do this.
By the way, there is no aircraft attached to the office of the Prime Minister in the UK. He travels on British Airways, BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use.
These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton, the wife of Prince William, drives? VW Golf or something close to it. But there’s one core difference between them and us. They, even the millionaires and billionaires, work for their money. Most of us steal ours. With the stolen money, we pamper and spoil our children in every possible crooked way.
If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let’s begin now to teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and most importantly be content and hate thieves of public money.
We have Nigerian Children who have never worked for five minutes in their lives insisting on flying first or business class and using the latest cars fully paid for by their “loving“ parents.
I often get calls from anxious parents that say “my son graduated two years ago and is still looking for a job, can you please assist!”
“Oh really! So where exactly is THIS CHILD?” I would ask and why are you the one making this call dad and mom?"
I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and I, chances are that the big boy is cruising around Abuja with a babe dressed to the nines, in his dad’s sparkling new SUV with enough “pocket money” to put your salary to shame. It is not at all strange to hear a 28-year-old who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria but “earns” a six-figure “salary” from parents for doing absolutely nothing.
I see them in my office once in a while, a 26-year old with absolutely no skill to sell apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad’s secretary. Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call and he is driven to the job interview. We would have a fairly decent conversation and we get to the inevitable question: so, what salary are you looking forward to earning? The confident answer usually comes straight-forwardly: N250,000.00. I would ask if that is per month or annum.
“Of course, it is per month”
“Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job?”
“Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I feel any employer should be able to pay me more than my parents.” No wonder corruption thrives.
We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as a birthright. Even though the examples I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Uyo to Yola.
Wake up, dad! Wake up, mom! This syndrome Of “my children will not suffer what I suffered" is destroying your tomorrow and that of your children. You are practically loving your child to death.
I learned the children of a corrupt former governor are now virtually insane. But they still go about with security escorts. They are on drugs. Because of the drugs, they collapse easily and unexpectedly in odd places including supermarkets. The escorts would quickly pack them and off they hurry out with them to God knows where! No one wants to marry them. What a life!
It was Henry Ford, former president of America who said, “hard work does not kill”. We seem to be getting everything wrong in Nigeria now, including family values and the virtues of hard work. Dear parents, it is time to prepare your children for tomorrow. The way the world is going, only those that are rugged, hardworking and smart that will survive. How will your ward fare?
We must begin to save our young from the unintended consequences of "too much love" and weak parenting. It is the only way out. Let's not spiritualise everything and say God will help us, even God was hardly mentioned at home and Sundays were instead spent at the beaches and other social outings. Recently the two sons of a doting professor killed their father, just to lay hands on the money they thought the father had kept somewhere. They are now cooling their heels in a prison somewhere in Calabar. Both father and sons destroyed.
The need for reorientation of children of middle class or upper class parents can no longer be overemphasized, especially as the economy continue to bite harder in Nigeria. Delay is dangerous!
By Anietie Usen
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